Lewd Pony Press

Specializing in offbeat humor, shitty poetry, and sacred literature

Posts tagged hookers or cake

47 notes

hookersorcake:

The bright recognition of ones own mortality, can poop on the ol giggle parade.
Last night I was visited by 3 Elvis’s
The young, crazy vibrant Elvis
The fat, drugged old Elvis
and the massive dead Elvis
They told me to change my ways baby
that I was losing hydrogen and helium at my core
while expanding in mass.
then they asked me if I was going to eat that
they were pointing at a bare wall
I said no and stepped aside.
They tore the drywall from the studs and young Elvis thrust his manhood upon it making love to it in several different ways and yet somehow all at once.
Fat Elvis crushed up the parts young Elvis was done with. He snorted up the dust but the larger parts he cooked into a cosmic frittata using a red hot skillet.
Dead Elvis just held the whole scene in its infinite mouth - his massive mutton chops would close in upon it obliterating all light and sound. Then the giant horns would sound and the mutton chops lift and the whole cycle would begin again.  This repeated itself all through the commercial break during the age of Kali Yuga and then we went for ice cream.

hookersorcake:

The bright recognition of ones own mortality, can poop on the ol giggle parade.

Last night I was visited by 3 Elvis’s

The young, crazy vibrant Elvis

The fat, drugged old Elvis

and the massive dead Elvis

They told me to change my ways baby

that I was losing hydrogen and helium at my core

while expanding in mass.

then they asked me if I was going to eat that

they were pointing at a bare wall

I said no and stepped aside.

They tore the drywall from the studs and young Elvis thrust his manhood upon it making love to it in several different ways and yet somehow all at once.

Fat Elvis crushed up the parts young Elvis was done with. He snorted up the dust but the larger parts he cooked into a cosmic frittata using a red hot skillet.

Dead Elvis just held the whole scene in its infinite mouth - his massive mutton chops would close in upon it obliterating all light and sound. Then the giant horns would sound and the mutton chops lift and the whole cycle would begin again.  This repeated itself all through the commercial break during the age of Kali Yuga and then we went for ice cream.

Filed under Hookers or Cake

43 notes

Lewd Pony Press Sept. Contest
Just reblog this entire post for a free chance to win the vintage, 1973 paperback book, Fear And Loathing: On The Campaign Trail ‘72 by Dr. Hunter S. Thompson.
If you want to win the big prize of the 1967 hard cover of Dr. Thompson’s first book, Hell’s Angels, then you need to take the most creative/fun pic of the book Hookers or Cake and submit it. Don’t own a copy of Hookers or Cake? Its only $9 at B&N, $10 at Amazon or $12 signed, w/S&H included at Lewd Pony Press. - Contest Ends Sept 30th - Good Luck!

Lewd Pony Press Sept. Contest

Just reblog this entire post for a free chance to win the vintage, 1973 paperback book, Fear And Loathing: On The Campaign Trail ‘72 by Dr. Hunter S. Thompson.

If you want to win the big prize of the 1967 hard cover of Dr. Thompson’s first book, Hell’s Angels, then you need to take the most creative/fun pic of the book Hookers or Cake and submit it. Don’t own a copy of Hookers or Cake? Its only $9 at B&N, $10 at Amazon or $12 signed, w/S&H included at Lewd Pony Press. - Contest Ends Sept 30th - Good Luck!

Filed under Lewd Pony Press Hunter S. Thompson Hookers or Cake contest

24 notes

The proofs have been proofed and now the big machines whirl and spin.
These early copies will all come signed and with a original 4x6 ink drawing.
Check out our Pay Pal link to purchase. Only $12 in US - $15 in Canada eh - $18 for the rest of the world - all shipping and handling included.

The proofs have been proofed and now the big machines whirl and spin.

These early copies will all come signed and with a original 4x6 ink drawing.

Check out our Pay Pal link to purchase. Only $12 in US - $15 in Canada eh - $18 for the rest of the world - all shipping and handling included.

Filed under Hookers or Cake Lewd Pony Press book Jade Bos