Lewd Pony Press

Specializing in offbeat humor, shitty poetry, and sacred literature

47 notes

hookersorcake:

God approached the shoe store. A boundless mystery wearing a false mustache. God opened the door and a bell rang. A small, wounded puppet came from the back, smiled shyly, and proceeded to sell God a nice pair of dress shoes.
God stepped out onto the street admiring the new shoes. And the puppet closed up shop for lunch.
God was later found, lost on a archaic battlefield, wearing the back half of a 2 man pony costume. The puppet meanwhile, fell asleep after lunch, dreaming of a dark and silent forest. A piercing song came from a clearing.
A small bird sings in a ancient cage.

An original 4x6 ink drawing that may come with a purchased copy of Hookers or Cake.

hookersorcake:

God approached the shoe store. A boundless mystery wearing a false mustache. God opened the door and a bell rang. A small, wounded puppet came from the back, smiled shyly, and proceeded to sell God a nice pair of dress shoes.

God stepped out onto the street admiring the new shoes. And the puppet closed up shop for lunch.

God was later found, lost on a archaic battlefield, wearing the back half of a 2 man pony costume. The puppet meanwhile, fell asleep after lunch, dreaming of a dark and silent forest. A piercing song came from a clearing.

A small bird sings in a ancient cage.

An original 4x6 ink drawing that may come with a purchased copy of Hookers or Cake.

  1. jaguarthompson reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
    I love that quote. I love whenever jade bos writes something, i write like him, not as good but still.
  2. johnfromtheclub reblogged this from hookersorcake
  3. avianflue reblogged this from hookersorcake
  4. valentinalucia reblogged this from hookersorcake
  5. pristinesf reblogged this from hookersorcake
  6. houseoforange said: [snapping my fingers] Wait, do coffeehouse beetniks still do that?
  7. jimmythemustascheman reblogged this from lewdponypress and added:
    This is fantastic!
  8. onestonedcrow said: Yeah, I didn’t know that Alf was busted in the end … did you see my blog post about how I was almost trampled by an elephant two weeks ago … what an adrenalin rush … and me and my buddy were stoned at the time …
  9. tatertotsandpigtails reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
    This made me grin foolishly.
  10. hookersorcake posted this
  11. carriemp reblogged this from hookersorcake
  12. stonercharm reblogged this from hookersorcake
  13. lewdponypress reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
    An original 4x6 ink drawing that may come with...Hookers or Cake.