Lewd Pony Press

Specializing in offbeat humor, shitty poetry, and sacred literature

49 notes

hookersorcake:

I’ve always had reoccurring nightmares about zombies but lately my dreams have taken a turn for the sexy.
Hot Zombie 3-way - Zombie Orgy  
and the neat thing about zombie sex is it doesn’t matter if they’re a boy or a girl or a canned ham or whatever - zombies by their very nature are full of holes and in the midst of a blood orgy any orifice will do.
The bummer is that the sex isn’t very good, not that it doesn’t physically feel good. No the sex feels awesome, its just that… I dunno the zombies don’t really seem that into it ya know?

hookersorcake:

I’ve always had reoccurring nightmares about zombies but lately my dreams have taken a turn for the sexy.

Hot Zombie 3-way - Zombie Orgy 

and the neat thing about zombie sex is it doesn’t matter if they’re a boy or a girl or a canned ham or whatever - zombies by their very nature are full of holes and in the midst of a blood orgy any orifice will do.

The bummer is that the sex isn’t very good, not that it doesn’t physically feel good. No the sex feels awesome, its just that… I dunno the zombies don’t really seem that into it ya know?

  1. dot-graham reblogged this from lewdponypress
  2. skt1ocaso reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
    genial
  3. inebriation reblogged this from hookersorcake
  4. sing-me-a-rainbow reblogged this from hookersorcake
  5. marygodwinning reblogged this from hookersorcake
  6. lewdponypress reblogged this from hookersorcake
  7. coaleksandr reblogged this from hookersorcake
  8. jimmythemustascheman reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
    you need right now...pity party. Maybe they...you? Get back...
  9. hungryhungryhatians reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
    I love love love this.
  10. 405 reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
    The doctor tells me the bad news and afterward, I feel like having a thousand drinks but don’t. I maybe want to cry, but...
  11. jimmythemustascheman answered: The last thing you need right now is a pity party. Maybe they are just not that into you? Get back on that train and find a good zombie!
  12. ravenhallow answered: If you can get ‘em to close their eyes and maybe tape their toes curled, you can pretend they’re moaning for *you*
  13. hookersorcake posted this