Lewd Pony Press

Specializing in offbeat humor, shitty poetry, and sacred literature

48 notes

hookersorcake: I’ve always had reoccurring nightmares about zombies but lately my dreams have taken a turn for the sexy. Hot Zombie 3-way - Zombie Orgy  and the neat thing about zombie sex is it doesn’t matter if they’re a boy or a girl or a canned ham or whatever - zombies by their very nature are full of holes and in the midst of a blood orgy any orifice will do. The bummer is that the sex isn’t very good, not that it doesn’t physically feel good. No the sex feels awesome, its just that… I dunno the zombies don’t really seem that into it ya know?

hookersorcake:

I’ve always had reoccurring nightmares about zombies but lately my dreams have taken a turn for the sexy.

Hot Zombie 3-way - Zombie Orgy 

and the neat thing about zombie sex is it doesn’t matter if they’re a boy or a girl or a canned ham or whatever - zombies by their very nature are full of holes and in the midst of a blood orgy any orifice will do.

The bummer is that the sex isn’t very good, not that it doesn’t physically feel good. No the sex feels awesome, its just that… I dunno the zombies don’t really seem that into it ya know?

  1. dot-graham reblogged this from lewdponypress
  2. skt1ocaso reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
    genial
  3. inebriation reblogged this from hookersorcake
  4. sing-me-a-rainbow reblogged this from hookersorcake
  5. damsel-with-a-dulcimer reblogged this from hookersorcake
  6. lewdponypress reblogged this from hookersorcake
  7. coaleksandr reblogged this from hookersorcake
  8. jimmythemustascheman reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
    you need right now...pity party. Maybe they...you? Get back...
  9. hungryhungryhatians reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
    I love love love this.
  10. 405 reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
    The doctor tells me the bad news and afterward, I feel like having a thousand drinks but don’t. I maybe want to cry, but...
  11. jimmythemustascheman answered: The last thing you need right now is a pity party. Maybe they are just not that into you? Get back on that train and find a good zombie!
  12. ravenhallow answered: If you can get ‘em to close their eyes and maybe tape their toes curled, you can pretend they’re moaning for *you*
  13. hookersorcake posted this