Lewd Pony Press

Specializing in offbeat humor, shitty poetry, and sacred literature

45 notes

hookersorcake: I’ve always had reoccurring nightmares about zombies but lately my dreams have taken a turn for the sexy. Hot Zombie 3-way - Zombie Orgy  and the neat thing about zombie sex is it doesn’t matter if they’re a boy or a girl or a canned ham or whatever - zombies by their very nature are full of holes and in the midst of a blood orgy any orifice will do. The bummer is that the sex isn’t very good, not that it doesn’t physically feel good. No the sex feels awesome, its just that… I dunno the zombies don’t really seem that into it ya know?

hookersorcake:

I’ve always had reoccurring nightmares about zombies but lately my dreams have taken a turn for the sexy.

Hot Zombie 3-way - Zombie Orgy 

and the neat thing about zombie sex is it doesn’t matter if they’re a boy or a girl or a canned ham or whatever - zombies by their very nature are full of holes and in the midst of a blood orgy any orifice will do.

The bummer is that the sex isn’t very good, not that it doesn’t physically feel good. No the sex feels awesome, its just that… I dunno the zombies don’t really seem that into it ya know?

  1. anorexiomedicen reblogged this from hookersorcake
  2. inebriation reblogged this from hookersorcake
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  7. jimmythemustascheman reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
    you need right now...pity party. Maybe they...you? Get back...
  8. anxiouslywaiting reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
    love love love this.
  9. 405 reblogged this from hookersorcake and added:
    The doctor tells me the bad news and afterward, I feel like having a thousand drinks
  10. jimmythemustascheman answered: The last thing you need right now is a pity party. Maybe they are just not that into you? Get back on that train and find a good zombie!
  11. ravenhallow answered: If you can get ‘em to close their eyes and maybe tape their toes curled, you can pretend they’re moaning for *you*
  12. hookersorcake posted this