Who are these people? What are they doing? My best friend died and all his obituary said was a list of different schools he went to and the names of his cousins. So at the funeral I felt compelled to tell everyone his final wishes involved his body being placed on a giant spring and being flung off into the woods.
“Just leave the body, wherever it lands for the wolves to drag off,” he said.
I’d like to color all the plain obituaries - like the mortician who painted the bodies of the deceased with colorful directions for the afterlife.
Hard Left at The River Styx - 0.3 miles
I’m reminded of my grandfather, who was buried in full drag. He’d never dressed in womens clothing or had any such desires in his waking life. But I was watching TV with him when I was a little kid, and Mr. Belvedere died. I asked “Where do people go when the die?”
and he replied,
“No one ever dies, they just shimmer forever after.”
and in his casket he shimmered in a sparkling blue, bare midriff evening gown by designer Jean Louis - his WWII navy tattoos dancing once again.
