Lewd Pony Press

Specializing in offbeat humor, shitty poetry, and sacred literature

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hookersorcake:

 The initial findings were staggering. The possibility that more than 70% of all female adult film actresses may suffer from a little known hormone deficiency called Seria Syndrome. What is Seria Syndrome? “Basically its a hormonal imbalance that can lead to impulsive and mania type behavior,” says Dr. Louis Szekely, who heads up a team of researchers in Van Nuys, California.
 The hormone in this case is called Oxytocin and it has been connected to behavior ranging from orgasm, social recognition, pair bonding, anxiety, and maternal behavior. Oxytocin is specifically mammalian and acts primarily as a neurotransmitter in the brain. It is often referred to as the ‘love hormone’ thus the more than 300 million dollars that drug companies have spent on researching it in just the past 5 years. “If we could produce a pill that produces feelings of love, empathy and trust in the user… it would be a social panacea,” Dr. Szekely went on to say. Studies and research have shown that oxytocin may solve problems ranging from Autism and depression to drug addiction and even adultery.
Though oxytocin was first synthesized in 1953 administering to patients has proven quite difficult. Oxytocin is destroyed by gastrointestinal tract. It also also only has a half life of only three minutes in the blood stream and thusly cannot enter the brain in any significant quantity due to a blood brain barrier. What scientists then have turned to as a result of being unable to administer oxytocin to test subjects is studying its effects by inhibiting oxytocin in levels in subjects.   Researchers discovered during studies on laboratory rats that if a female rat was given a oxytocin inhibitor she would immediately lose interest in her offspring and leave her mate. Scientists then were able to naturally raise the oxytocin levels in the female rats by simple handling them and stroking them for a mere thirty seconds to forty seconds. The female rats then began to immediately mate with the closet male or female, though in repeated double blind studies they did show a consistent preference for male rats who drove Trans-Ams and had cocaine. Scientists theorize that the reason for such rash activity was that the oxytocin starved females had such a low baseline of oxytocin activity that normal stroking or petting that releases what would be an average dose of oxytocin in a non inhibited subject becomes in effect a overdose in a previously inhibited subject, thus overriding many of the usual trust/aversion markers that control mating and maternal behavior. “The oxytocin overdosed female rats basically became wanton whores,” stated Dr. Szekely.Besides the troubling social behavior scientist also noticed that the inhibited rats shown very specific problems with hearing that effected vocalization. Researchers then took these findings and began conducting research on a interesting test group; female porn stars. “I actually began to notice the vocal patterns that I was hearing from the inhibited rats matched up with those of the adult performers in… uh well… other research I was conducting,” blushed Szekely. Researchers then viewed several thousand adult films and charted the vocal patterns of the female performers. The data that was compiled and it was stunning. Studies showed that 713 of 998 female performers had speech problems consistent with Seria Syndrome. In order to verify the findings the female performers would need to be physically tested. Here the research team ran into a problem. The porn stars were not willing research participants, even when offered money and free treatment. It was then that a light went off in Szekely’s head. “We’ll make a porno,” he flatly stated. And that’s just what they did. Over the next three grueling weeks Dr.Szekely took samples from over 500 females. “We couldn’t get the starlets to submit to a regular blood sample,” he recalled “so I just attached a small patch of cotton to the end of my penis and was able to obtain throat sample within the context of the film. I achieved a 92% success rate,” he beamed.The numbers once again were staggering, only 3 female performers that appeared in Dr. Love, Female gang bang, actually showed any sign of Seria Syndrome. 413 of the performers just had tongue rings that impeded clear speech and 76 of the performers where “just fucked up,” stated a bemused Szekely. The 3 starlets that did have markers consistent with Seria Syndrome were thoroughly tested in Dr. Love II & III “It wasn’t until Dr Love IV, Anal mania, that we figured out a fail proof way to administer antidote testing,” said Dr. Louis. As of this writing Dr. Szekely is planning a new research group, Dr. Love V, Gang bang 1,000. “I will not rest until I find a cure,” sighed the good Dr.

hookersorcake:

 The initial findings were staggering. The possibility that more than 70% of all female adult film actresses may suffer from a little known hormone deficiency called Seria Syndrome.
 What is Seria Syndrome? “Basically its a hormonal imbalance that can lead to impulsive and mania type behavior,” says Dr. Louis Szekely, who heads up a team of researchers in Van Nuys, California.

 The hormone in this case is called Oxytocin and it has been connected to behavior ranging from orgasm, social recognition, pair bonding, anxiety, and maternal behavior. Oxytocin is specifically mammalian and acts primarily as a neurotransmitter in the brain. It is often referred to as the ‘love hormone’ thus the more than 300 million dollars that drug companies have spent on researching it in just the past 5 years. “If we could produce a pill that produces feelings of love, empathy and trust in the user… it would be a social panacea,” Dr. Szekely went on to say. Studies and research have shown that oxytocin may solve problems ranging from Autism and depression to drug addiction and even adultery.

Though oxytocin was first synthesized in 1953 administering to patients has proven quite difficult. Oxytocin is destroyed by gastrointestinal tract. It also also only has a half life of only three minutes in the blood stream and thusly cannot enter the brain in any significant quantity due to a blood brain barrier.
 What scientists then have turned to as a result of being unable to administer oxytocin to test subjects is studying its effects by inhibiting oxytocin in levels in subjects.
  Researchers discovered during studies on laboratory rats that if a female rat was given a oxytocin inhibitor she would immediately lose interest in her offspring and leave her mate. Scientists then were able to naturally raise the oxytocin levels in the female rats by simple handling them and stroking them for a mere thirty seconds to forty seconds. The female rats then began to immediately mate with the closet male or female, though in repeated double blind studies they did show a consistent preference for male rats who drove Trans-Ams and had cocaine. Scientists theorize that the reason for such rash activity was that the oxytocin starved females had such a low baseline of oxytocin activity that normal stroking or petting that releases what would be an average dose of oxytocin in a non inhibited subject becomes in effect a overdose in a previously inhibited subject, thus overriding many of the usual trust/aversion markers that control mating and maternal behavior. “The oxytocin overdosed female rats basically became wanton whores,” stated Dr. Szekely.
Besides the troubling social behavior scientist also noticed that the inhibited rats shown very specific problems with hearing that effected vocalization. Researchers then took these findings and began conducting research on a interesting test group; female porn stars. “I actually began to notice the vocal patterns that I was hearing from the inhibited rats matched up with those of the adult performers in… uh well… other research I was conducting,” blushed Szekely. Researchers then viewed several thousand adult films and charted the vocal patterns of the female performers. The data that was compiled and it was stunning. Studies showed that 713 of 998 female performers had speech problems consistent with Seria Syndrome. In order to verify the findings the female performers would need to be physically tested. Here the research team ran into a problem. The porn stars were not willing research participants, even when offered money and free treatment. It was then that a light went off in Szekely’s head. “We’ll make a porno,” he flatly stated. And that’s just what they did. Over the next three grueling weeks Dr.Szekely took samples from over 500 females. “We couldn’t get the starlets to submit to a regular blood sample,” he recalled “so I just attached a small patch of cotton to the end of my penis and was able to obtain throat sample within the context of the film. I achieved a 92% success rate,” he beamed.
The numbers once again were staggering, only 3 female performers that appeared in Dr. Love, Female gang bang, actually showed any sign of Seria Syndrome. 413 of the performers just had tongue rings that impeded clear speech and 76 of the performers where “just fucked up,” stated a bemused Szekely.
 The 3 starlets that did have markers consistent with Seria Syndrome were thoroughly tested in Dr. Love II & III “It wasn’t until Dr Love IV, Anal mania, that we figured out a fail proof way to administer antidote testing,” said Dr. Louis.
As of this writing Dr. Szekely is planning a new research group, Dr. Love V, Gang bang 1,000. “I will not rest until I find a cure,” sighed the good Dr.

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    has been connected to behavior ranging...maternal behavior.
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